


Dear Agony

by Avynn_Marie



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Assault, Depression, Sexual Assault, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-06-28 17:03:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15711534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avynn_Marie/pseuds/Avynn_Marie
Summary: Summer Trager has just landed back in Charming hellbent on reuniting with her father after 16 years. When she catches the attention of a mohawked biker, things take a turn for the wild side. … But every wild ride comes with some unexpected curves. After a heinous incident, will Juice and the club be able to save Charming’s princess from total derailment? Or will she be lost to them for good?





	1. Chapter 1

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“Hey, SJ!  It’s two o’clock.  What time you meeting with that lawyer?”  My boss’ booming voice called from the office of the garage.  I finished tightening the oil filter on the Pontiac and rolled out from under the sedan.  I hopped to my feet and turned towards him. 

 

“Three." I smiled and motioned over my shoulder to the car beside me.  "I’m just gonna’ finish this oil change, then I’ll head out.  Thanks.”   

 

He gave a quick, friendly nod and moved back into the office.  Ricky was a good man and a great boss.  When most shops wouldn’t give me a job,  _because I was a chick,_  Ricky didn't hesitate. I had just as much mechanical experience as most of the guys my age, but that didn’t seem to matter to the other garages.   _‘The garage is no place for a girl, you could get hurt’_  is the gist of the responses I got.   But, not from Ricky.  He took one look at my resume and hired me on the spot. 

 

After filling the oil in the sedan, I dropped the hood and headed over to the office to clock out.   I wiped my hands on my jeans before punching the time clock and reaching for my bag and keys.  “I’ll catch ya’ tomorrow, Ricky.”  I said as I turned to leave.

 

Ricky spun around in his chair, concern in his eyes.  “You sure you don’t want tomorrow off, hun?”  Ricky became like a father figure to me over the past two years and even more so recently when my grandfather passed.  Yes, he was my boss, but the garage was more like a family than most others.  He didn’t treat his employees like shit and didn’t work us into the ground.

 

I smiled and leaned on the door frame facing him.  “It depends on how this goes.  I’ll give you a call later if I need a day.” 

 

He nodded, giving me a soft smile.  “Sure.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 

Nerve wracking thoughts spiraled around my mind as I waited in the sitting area of the Probate office.   _What was so secret that my grandfather left me?_   He’d already had the house, his car and all his financial gains named to me, as I was the only living kin remaining.  My mother, his daughter, had died when I was sixteen.  She’d been on yet another drunken binge and wrapped her car around a tree.  My father wasn’t in the picture, and hadn’t been for just about my whole life.  I vaguely remembered being with him when I was very young, but the memories were all fuzzy and just about non-existent.  I anxiously picked at some grease under my fingernails as my foot tapped lightly on the floor.  

 

The office door to my right opened suddenly, jarring me from my thoughts and I stood. 

 

“Ah, Miss Trager.  Please, come in.”  The stout older man smiled and held the door, ushering me inside.

 

I gave him a short smile as I followed him into the office and sat in the large leather chair that he motioned to.  His office smelled musty with a hint of cigars, which I thought was odd since I didn’t see an ashtray or a humidor anywhere in sight. 

 

“Mr. Levin.  What exactly is this about?  I thought Charles had already left me everything?”  I asked as he rounded the desk and sat opposite of me.

 

He pushed his glasses up further on his nose and shuffled through a few papers before grabbing a pen and handing them to me.  “Yes, it’s just one item that was left in my care.  No need to worry.  Sign these, please.”  He smiled as I hesitantly took the papers from him.  I eyed him for a moment before relenting and scribbled my name on the lines checked.

 

“Very good.”  He gathered the papers and shoved them into a folder before moving to the cabinet behind his desk.  Unlocking a drawer, he leaned in and picked up a box.  “Here we go.”  He held the cardboard box above the desk to me.  My hands felt cold as I reached and took it from his grasp.  It was just larger than a shoe box and had a decent weight to it.   _‘Summer J. Trager’_  was written in marker across the top of it.  I gazed up to Mr. Levin with a confused look on my face.

 

He held his hands up.  “Don’t look at me.  I’m just the messenger.”   

 

I dropped my eyes back to the box.  It felt like a ton of bricks sitting in my lap.  

 

_What the hell is this?_   

 

“This is everything then?”  I asked.  “No more secret surprises?”  I tried to joke through the anxiety rushing through me.

 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

 

I sighed and slowly stood from the chair.  “Thank you, Mr. Levin.”  I held out my hand to him, which he grasped firmly before releasing me. 

 

“Take care of yourself, Miss Trager.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The short drive home felt like an eternity.  The box on my passenger seat like a ticking bomb, taunting me the whole way through town.  

 

Grandpa Charles never kept secrets from me…what the hell was in this mysterious box?

 

_God, I need a drink._

 

I hung my keys and bag on the hook in the entry way and set the box on the empty dining table.  I made my way to the kitchen, grabbed a beer and stood in the doorway to the dining room.  I took a few swigs as I stared at the box, contemplating. 

 

_Do I want to know what’s inside?_

 

_What dark family secrets lay in wait?_

 

“Fuck it.”  I sighed after a while as I set the beer down and plopped into the chair.  I took my pocket knife and sliced the tape on the top of the box.  I folded the flaps back and peered inside. 

 

Envelopes.  A LOT of envelopes.

 

My brow furrowed as I leafed through them.  They were all addressed to me and dated with the same return address.  

 

Charming, Ca.

 

_Charming?  Wait...was that the town Mom and I used to live in?_

 

I picked the oldest envelope out of the box and turned it over in my hands.  I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry, as I began to rip the envelope open.  My hands shook slightly as I pulled out the contents. 

 

A letter and… _cash??_   

 

I counted the money quickly...Ten $100 bills.  

 

_One grand?!  What the hell?!_  

 

I set the money to the side and unfolded the letter.

 

 

> _Baby girl,_  
>  I know you may be confused and not understanding what's going on or why.  You may be angry and blame me, and that's ok.  I get it.  Your mom's just trying to do what she thinks is best for you.  Just know that your daddy and uncles love you so much.  It hurts me to be away from you.  I never wanted you to leave.  I will always be here for you and provide for you.     
>  I hope that I can see you soon.  If your mom will allow it.  
>  I love you baby girl.  
>  Love  
>  Dad

 

 

I wiped a tear from my cheek as my hands shook, rattling the paper slightly.  I folded the letter back into the envelope and grabbed the next one from the box, tearing it open.

 

Another grand in cash and a letter, much along the same lines as the first, written a few months later.

 

I placed the second letter in a stack with the first and leaned my elbows onto the table, resting my chin on one hand, the other nervously drumming my fingertips against the wood.  My entire world had just pivoted on its axis.  Everything I’d been told…had been a lie. 

 

I pushed off of the table and moved to the cabinet across the dining room.  I needed something much stronger than beer.  I grabbed the whiskey bottle and a glass and slammed them down onto the table as I slid back into the chair.  I popped the cork and filled the glass before bringing it to my lips and throwing my head back, downing the amber liquid in a single move.  I hissed as the warm burn traveled through me and I shoved the glass aside, opting for just the bottle from now on. 

 

“Holy shit.”  I sighed as I reached for the next envelope.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 

Minutes ticked by as I continued to work through the letters, only breaking to swipe tears away and chug some more whiskey.  I opened the next envelope and pulled the papers out.  

 

Another grand, a letter and some pictures.  

 

 

> _Hey baby girl_  
>  I miss you so much.  I understand if you’re upset and don't want to write me back, but I hope it's ok that I still write to you.    
>  I figured you might want some pictures so you don't forget me or your uncles.  I hope I can make it out to see you soon.  I'm sorry it's been so long.  
>  I love you baby girl  
>  Love dad

 

 

I flipped through the photos.  One of me riding on my father's shoulders, huge smiles on our faces.  We had the same ice blue eyes and facial features.  I always knew I didn't look like my mom, but I never knew how much I took after my father.  The other photos were of a small group of guys leaning on some motorcycles.  They all had matching leathers and were smiling and laughing. 

 

My face fell...I couldn't remember any of them.  These men had loved me like their own...and I had no memory of them.  

 

I placed the pictures gently off to the side and moved on to the rest of the box.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

My father had written me three times a year for ten years.  Each letter containing one grand in cash.  The final letter was for my 18th birthday...six years ago.

>  
> 
>   
>  _Baby girl_  
>    
>  Happy birthday.  I wish I could've been there.  As I said before, you know how your mom is and she refused to let me see you.  I know she thinks it's best, but it's not fair to either of us.  I also know, that you haven't written back or sought to contact me.  So maybe all of these letters were in vain.  Some slight hope on my part that you'd want to know me.  Want me in your life.  But it seems that that may not be the case.  You're an adult now.  Free to make your own decisions.  I hope that we can reconnect and have a relationship that we've missed out on.  That is, if that's what you want.  This is so hard but I accept whatever you wish.  
>  I love you Baby girl.  
>  Goodbye  
>  Dad

 

I dropped the letter to the table as rage burned deep inside of me.  I had been lied to my entire life.  Told that my father wanted nothing to do with me.  That he didn't love me.  I grabbed the empty whiskey bottle next to me and threw it across the room.  It slammed into the wall, shattering to the floor.   Sobs broke from my chest as I curled into myself.   _He didn't think I wanted him.  He didn't think I loved him._   My heart broke for him as I cried into the table.  

 

I sat up after a few moments, wiping the tears viciously from my face.  

 

I had to get to him.  

 

I ran my hands through my hair to calm myself before picking up my phone and dialing.

 

"Hey, SJ.  How'd it go?"  Ricky’s voice answered on the second ring.

 

"Ricky....yeah, I'm going to need a few days."  I sighed, desperately trying to piece myself back together.  

 

"That's fine.  The guys can pick up the work.  It's not a problem.  You wanna talk about it, sweetheart?"  I could hear the concern in his voice, but I couldn't tell him right now.  

 

"I'll swing by in the morning on my way out."

 

"Where ya headin?"  He asked hesitantly.

 

"California."

 


	2. Chapter 2

~*~*~*~*~

 

I finished throwing clothes into a backpack before tucking the folder with all the letters and cash down inside.  Zipping it closed, I hauled it onto my shoulder as I made my way out to the garage.  I strode past my grandfather’s Monte Carlo, giving it an appreciative glance before moving over to my ‘69 Roadrunner.  Its black paint gleamed under the fluorescent lights of the garage.

I was so proud of myself the day I bought her a few years back.  I worked my ass off and saved up the couple grand that she was listed for.  She was in rough shape, all bare metal with some surface rust and bondo in spots.  Ricky let me keep her around back of the shop in an unused bay.  I worked on her day and night when I wasn’t on duty in the shop.  It took me almost a year to restore her, but it was worth every second.  

I smiled at the memories as I opened the door.  Tossing my pack onto the passenger seat, I dropped into the car.  I gripped the steering wheel as I hooked the key into the ignition.  I paused a moment as I stared out the open garage door.

“Here goes nothin’,"  I sighed as the engine roared to life and I pulled out onto the street. 

I swung down to the shop and gave Ricky a brief rundown of last night’s events.  He was very understanding and told me to take as much time as I needed and to touch base with him in a few days.  That man truly was a godsend.    

I drove for about twelve hours before stopping for the night at the AZ/CA border.  The last leg of the trip tomorrow would take about seven hours or so I figured.  

I laid on the motel bed, my father's letters spread around me on the comforter.  I read over them again and stared at the pictures as if willing my brain to remember the men.  Going over his last letters it suddenly dawned on me.  I quickly rifled through and gathered all the ones sent after mom’s accident.  My eyes scanned through them before I froze and dropped the papers to the bed, my hand clasped over my mouth in shock.

_He never mentioned her death._

_He still referred to her in present tense._

_He didn’t know._  

I sat there for a few moments, my mind reeling.  I doubt mom had even known about the letters since they were all sent to my grandfather’s house.  I guess my dad thought that Charles would give them to me, knowing that mom would probably just take the money and burn the letters.  Charles most likely didn’t want to cause any family fights or have me blame him for keeping them from me, so he packed them away and waited until he was gone.  Coward move but what’s done is done I guess.  I had them now, and it was up to me to fix this.

~*~*~*~*~

I towel dried my hair as I stepped back into the small motel room.  It was already hot this morning and the air conditioning barely blew cold in this run down joint.  I pulled on a pair of shorts and a black tank top, donned my boots and threw my hair into a braid.  I packed the letters back into the backpack and headed out to the lot.  

I stopped around the corner at the local drive thru.  As I waited at the window, I fiddled with the photo I had tucked in the mirror of the sun visor.  I traced my finger lightly over my father’s face as my nerves started to come to light. 

_Was this the right move?_

_Would he even want to see me?_

I shook my head, willing the thoughts away.  No matter how this went, I needed to know.  We’d both been robbed from a life with each other and been lied to for years.  Good outcome or bad, we both needed this closure.  I paid for my food and sighed as I pulled back out onto the highway, cranking the radio to drown out the nervous thoughts running through my head.

~*~*~*~*~

I arrived in Charming later that evening.  Traffic was a bitch and it took longer than I’d estimated.  I drove around the town, getting a feel of the layout and trying to locate the garage from the pictures.  I turned a corner and slowed as my eyes landed on the iron gates.  My heart hammered in my chest as I eased down the road toward the entrance.  Glancing through the gates I saw a line of bikes and a few men walking about. 

And there he was.

I’d burned his face into my memory from the photos and my eyes landed on him immediately.   He was leaning on a bike, talking with a younger guy with blonde hair.  I swallowed and turned back to the road. 

_Do I pull in?_

_What do I say?_

My chest tightened causing my breathing to quicken and I forced myself to drive off.  I gripped the steering wheel tightly in an attempt to stop my hands from shaking as I navigated the streets back to the hotel I saw on my way in.  Pulling into a spot, I sat in my car for a few moments, calming my breathing back to normal from the slight panic attack. 

_He was right there, within fifty feet of you and you panicked!_  

I leaned forward and rested my forehead against the steering wheel.  

_Get it together, SJ.  For fuck’s sake._

_~*~*~*~*~_

I didn’t get any sleep that night.  I just laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling as my mind raced in circles.  

_How was this going to go?_

_What do I do, just waltz in there and rip the band-aid off?_

_'Hey, Alexander Trager? Yeah, I’m your daughter and never got your letters until two days ago, so here I am!'_

_Would he even believe me?_

_Why wouldn’t my mom let him in my life?_

_Better yet, why had she taken me away in the first place?_

I sighed and rolled over to my stomach, burying my face into the pillows.  

~*~*~*~*~

I’d shaken my nerves off as best as I could on the drive over to the garage.  I was early, getting there just as they were opening.  I scanned the lot as I pulled through and eased into a space across from the tow truck.  There were only two bikes, but neither were the one my father was leaning on last night.  I cut the ignition and let out a breath as I stepped out to the pavement. 

A younger man, about my age or a little older, with scruffy dirty blonde hair waved and walked out of one of the bays. 

"Morning."  The man smiled as he walked up to me, his gaze giving me a once over.  "Sweet ride."  His eyes left mine to wander over the lines of the Roadrunner.  "Somethin’ wrong with it?”

I smiled as he looked back to me.  “Nah, I just got into town from Texas.  Just needs a service and I don’t have the means to do it myself right now.”

He nodded.  “I got ya."  He held out his hand.  "I’m Kip."  

"SJ."  I shook his hand.

"I just need ya to fill out some paperwork.  Should have it ready this afternoon."  He said as he lead me over to the office.  "How long you in town for?”

I shrugged, glancing around.  “Not sure yet.  Got some family stuff I’m trying to figure out.”

“Gotta love family."  He chuckled as he held the door open and quickly grabbed a clipboard with forms, holding them out to me.  "I gotta get going on opening the shop otherwise the boss will have my ass.  You can just leave these on the desk for me.  Do you need to call a cab?"  he asked, motioning to the phone on the desk.

I shook my head as I held the clipboard.  "Oh, no.  I’m good, thanks."  I smiled.

He returned my smile and nodded as he exited the other door into the garage.

I tapped the pen on the edge of the clipboard as the door shut behind him.  I quickly filled out the forms and dropped the board onto the desk.  This was it.  My  _'master plan’_  so to speak.  I knew my father worked here or at least was here almost everyday.  Someone would see the name on the paperwork, and then I’d get my answer when I came to pick up my car.  I’d either be welcomed or I’d be run out of town.  I let out a breath as I ran my hands through my hair, trying to calm myself.  I dropped my hands, flattening my tank top and turned out of the office back into the lot.  I squared my shoulders and walked down the driveway to the street.  

~*~*~*~*~

"Alright, back this one out and I’ll pull the Roadrunner in."  Tig motioned to Chibs as he walked out to the lot towards the black Plymouth.  He let out a whistle as he slid his fingers along the fender.  "What’s a pretty thing like you doing in a dump like this?"  He chuckled as he dropped down into the seat, his knees knocking against the steering wheel.  "Jesus, a midget drive you, baby?"  He grunted as he fumbled under the seat for the lever to adjust it.  The seat slid back and clicked into place as he stretched his legs out.  "There, that’s better, sweethear-"  He reached up to flip the sun visor up out of his line of sight and froze, his hand hovering mid-air as his eyes locked on the photograph tucked in the mirror.  

An icy cold chill wound it’s way over him.  He gulped, suddenly remembering how to breathe as his fingertips gently touched the photo.  

He wasn’t imagining things…it was real.  

He lightly ran his fingers down his little girl’s smiling face as she sat atop his shoulders.  He could hear her giggle as the memory played back in his head.  He took a shuddered breath in as his senses came back to him.  

_What the hell kind of game was someone trying to pull on him?!_

His eyes snapped to the glove box and he leaned over ripping it open and emptied the small stack of papers out onto the passenger seat.  His heart pounded as he sifted through the papers until he found the registration card.

Summer J. Trager

His hand shook as he dropped the card onto the seat.  He stared at it for a moment before his eye caught on an envelope in the mess of papers.  There was handwriting on it, but mostly hidden under the other papers.  He brushed the pile aside to reveal the front of it and his breath caught again.

_Dad,_

_I hope you believe this…_


	3. Chapter 3

~*~*~*~*~

Tig’s eyes were wide as he stared blankly at the envelope in his hands.  His mind and heart racing as he sat in the Roadrunner.

_This had to be a joke.  
_

_Some sick fucked up prank from the guys.  
_

_There’s no way…_  

“Tig!  The hell ya doin’?"  Chibs called as he strode over to the car, breaking him from his thoughts.  Chibs put his hands on the door and leaned in the window, his eye catching the mess of papers next to Tig.  "Jeysus, ya going through people’s shite now?"  He opened the door and yanked his brother out of the seat.

"Alright!"  Tig quickly folded the envelope and shoved it into his pocket as he stood, shaking out of Chibs’ grip.  

"The fuck’s sa'matter with ya, brother?"  Chibs poked his fingers to Tig’s chest, forcing him to look at him.  The haunted gaze staring back at him caused Chibs to falter.  "What?”

Tig was about to speak when his eye caught Half-Sac walking out of the garage.    

“PROSPECT!"  Tig hollered as he pushed past Chibs and stormed over to Sac.  He grabbed the boy’s collar and slammed him up against the side of the tow truck.  

"Jesus, man!  What’d I do?”

“Who dropped the Plymouth off?"  Tig tried desperately to keep his voice low as adrenaline and nerves fought inside of him.

"Some hot chick.  Wh-”

His eyes bore into the panicked look on Half-Sac’s face.  “She say anything?" 

"W-what..I…”

Tig jerked Sac's collar, glaring into him.  “What did she say?!”

“She said she’s in town from Texas for some family shit!  That’s all!  What the hell man?!”

Chibs creased his brow as he watched the heated exchange. 

_Texas?_

It suddenly clicked in his head and he quickly rounded the door and leaned in the car, rifling through the papers on the seat.  

Chibs let out a shocked breath as he read the registration card.  “Mother Mary."  He backed out of the seat, his eyes flashing over to Tig’s back.

Tig released Half-Sac and strode off toward the clubhouse.  His coverall work shirt suddenly felt like it was suffocating him over his t-shirt.  He yanked the collar apart, ripping the buttons and ridding it from his body.  He angrily balled the shirt up and threw it to the picnic table before yanking the clubhouse door open and storming inside.

Chibs walked steadily over to the Prospect.

"The hell was that about?"  Sac adjusted his shirt as he looked from Chibs to the door as it closed behind Tig. 

"His daugh'er."  Chibs smacked Sac’s shoulder as he moved over toward the office, leaving the Prospect looking dumbfounded after him.  

This could go one of two ways, and god he prayed it would be the better of the two…for everyone’s sake.  

Chibs entered the office to find the club Matriarch sitting behind the desk. 

"Hey, Gem?"  He leaned his shoulder on the open door, crossing his arms over his chest as she looked up from a stack of papers, meeting his gaze.  "We may have a bit of a problem with Tiggy boy.”

She removed her glasses, dangling them in her fingers as she smirked over to the Scott.  “Great, now what?”

He sighed.  “Seems his lil’ princess has decided tae come home.”

Gemma stiffened as she stood slowly, gripping onto the edge of the desk.  Her eyes trained on him as mixed emotions played across her face.  “What!?”

~*~*~*~*~

Tig grabbed a bottle of beer from behind the bar before dropping onto a stool.  He rested his arms on the bar top and downed half the bottle in a single gulp.  Blowing out a deep breath in an effort to calm himself, he slowly retrieved the envelope from his pocket.  He stared at it a moment, his thumb tracing the handwriting as he fought with himself.  

_Did he really want to read it?_  

He tried desperately to not get his hopes up, but there was no denying that small glimmer burning inside of him.  He ran a hand over his chin as he pulled the paper out and unfolded it.

 

> _**Dad-** _
> 
> _**I figured this was the best way to do this.  I have no idea of your feelings toward me or if you even want me anymore.  But please hear me out.** _
> 
> _**We’ve both been lied to the past 16 years.  I never received your letters until about 3 days ago.  I was told my whole life that you didn’t love me and that you wanted nothing to do with me.  I resented you, wondering how a father could do that to his daughter.  But I now know that none of that was true.** _
> 
> _**Both Mom and Charles are gone.** _
> 
> _**Mom got plastered, shocker I’m sure, and wrapped the Vega around a tree ten years back.  I went to live with Charles after that.  He’d never given me the letters.  Never even mentioned you.** _
> 
> _**He passed last year.  Heart attack.  I got everything, the house, his Monte.  Then last week I got a call from the probate attorney saying there was something else.  Turns out, he kept every letter and tucked them away in a box.  Guess he didn’t want to get in the middle of family drama or some shit.  
> ** _
> 
> _**Fucking coward.** _
> 
> _**I was pissed to say the least.  Angry, hurt, betrayed.  I couldn't believe that everyone lied to me for pretty much my whole life.  Robbed me of you.  I don’t know what happened to cause mom to take me and leave you.  Whatever it was, I don’t care.** _
> 
> _**It killed me reading your final letter.  The fact that you thought I didn’t love you, it broke my heart.  So I packed a bag and drove straight here.** _
> 
> _**I’d hoped that you were still around, so I drove by last night when I got into town.  I saw you.  But I panicked and had to drive away.  The reality of finally meeting face to face after all this time…it was too much.  So this was my alternative.  Lay everything out in this letter and pray to God that you’d find it before I came back to pick up my car.** _
> 
> _**So…I guess this is it.  My cards are on the table so to speak.  If this is something that you simply can’t accept and don’t believe, I understand.  I get it.  I wouldn’t blame you.  But…if you believe my words, and I pray that you do, I hope we can move forward and salvage the life we’ve missed out on.** _
> 
> _**Either way…I respect your stance on this.** _
> 
> _**Just know that I love you.  Nothing will change that.** _
> 
> _**\- Summer - “SJ”** _

 

Tig balled his hands into fists and slammed them against the bar top.  “Fuckin shit!"  He swiped the bottle from the bar, sending it shattering to the floor.  "Fuck!"  He got up and paced a few steps.

"Tiggy."  Gemma said softly as she entered the clubhouse, stopping a few steps from him.

He had his back to her and just motioned to the letter on the bar top.  His breathing deep and heavy as he desperately tried to gain control of himself.

Gemma gently picked up the paper and read it over, gasping lightly after a few moments. "Oh my god, Tig-" 

He turned around, wiping his hand down his face.  "That bitch and her shithead father lied to my baby girl.  Made her think I didn’t love her."  He put his hands on his hips and cleared his throat, taking a deep breath in to steady himself.

"I know, baby."  Gemma stepped forward and took his face in her hands, gently rubbing her thumb across his cheek.  She gave him a reassuring smile.  "But look at what she wrote.  She knows the truth now…and she’s here.  You can make this right."  She leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips.  

"What do I do, Gem?"  He asked, his pain filled gaze searching hers.

"You talk to her.  Figure this out.  Every girl needs her father, and you’re all she’s got left.”

~*~*~*~*~

Chibs and Gemma filled the rest of the guys in as they stood around the line of bikes, while Tig chain smoked cigarette after cigarette as he paced the lot in front of the Roadrunner.  

“How’s he doin?"  Clay asked Chibs as he leaned back on his bike.

"His heads all a mess."  Chibs turned to face Clay, shaking his head.

Clay sighed.  "Hopefully this doesn’t fuck him up too much.  I need his head straight.”

“Aye."  Chibs nodded.  

Jax walked over to Tig.  "Hey, brother."  He brought him in for a hug before pulling back and holding his shoulders.  "You good?”

Tig lit another cigarette before looking up to him.  “This is killin’ me, Jax.”

Jax clapped his shoulder.  “I know.  We’re all here for you.”

Chibs stepped from the group and walked over to Tig as Jax released him.  

“Brother."  He clapped Tig on the back trying to ease his nerves.  Tig gave him a half nod and dropped his eyes back to the ground as Chibs stood next to him.

"I don’t know what to do, man."  Tig exhaled a cloud of smoke and shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he continued to study the pavement at his feet.  

Chibs took a drag off his cigarette and glanced down the driveway as movement caught his eye.  He drew in a sharp breath and gripped his brother’s shoulder.  "Tig." 

Tig looked up to his brother’s face before following his gaze…and his heart stopped.

~*~*~*~*~

I’d walked the town several times over throughout the day.  I bought myself a pack of smokes and just wandered around.  Some of it seemed vaguely familiar to me and little snippets of memories played in my head as I made my way around the small quaint little town.  Charming was definitely different compared to the shit hole that Mom had drug me to all those years ago.

I sighed as I dropped the cigarette to the ground, scuffing my boot over it as I pulled my phone from my pocket.

_4:00pm._

_Showtime…_

I adjusted my backpack and headed off towards the garage.  I lit another cigarette as I rounded the corner and time seemed to slow.  My boots clunked against the concrete as my eyes fixed on the gates up the street.  Everything inside me went blank.  My body suddenly numb as I drew closer.  

_Shit._

I dug my fingernails into my palm in an attempt to ground myself.  My hands shook slightly as I stopped just before the gates.  I took one last long drag off the cigarette before stubbing it under my boot.  

_Get your ass in gear, SJ!  Its not like you can just leave your car here!  Get a goddamn grip already!_  

_Now or never._

I blew out a breath and walked into the driveway.

A group of men in matching leathers were standing up alongside my car.  I swallowed as I walked forward a few paces and their eyes landed on me.  Every fiber of my being wanted to turn and bolt down the street.  I shook it off mentally and came to a halt when my father caught me in his gaze.

Time seemed to stop as our eyes locked.  The steady drum of my pulse pounded in my ears, drowning out everything around me.  My inner voice was screaming at me incoherently.  I was afraid to breathe, afraid that the slightest movement would break this spell.  

My father's shoulders dropped and the cigarette fell from his hand as he started towards me.  I was frozen in place, unsure of what to do.  I couldn’t read his expression.  

_Was he pissed?_

_Angry?_

_God dammit…_

_Fuck fuck fuck_

His stride quickened and his face broke into a look of relief and heartache.

My heart stuttered and leapt to my throat.  I suddenly regained control of my body and sprinted toward him.  Tears streaming down my face as my heart hammered in my chest.

"Dad!"  I choked and dropped the pack off of my shoulder.  Closing the distance between us, I launched myself into his arms, wrapping myself around him as sobs broke from my chest.  His arms clamped around me, gripping me tightly to him as he dropped to his knees on the pavement.

"Baby girl."  His voice sputtered as he buried his face in my neck.  I could feel his tears fall to my shoulder as I clung to him.  "I’m so sorry."  His voice barely above a whisper as he slowly rocked back and forth.  His arms were locked in an iron grip around me, as if he was afraid that if he were to let go in the slightest…I’d disappear.

"I c-can’t believe.."  I stammered through choked breaths and gave up trying to speak.  I gripped him tighter, clutching his leather in my fists as my sobs echoed across the lot.

 


	4. Chapter 4

After we composed ourselves, my father lead me into the clubhouse.  The strong smell of leather, beer, and weed hit me like a brick to the face.  There was a familiarity to it that calmed my nerves and sparked something deep in my mind.  I breathed deeply as a memory flashed quickly across my sight.  I vaguely remembered giggling and chasing a blonde haired boy around the bar and out the doors into the parking lot.  But as quickly as it hit me... it was gone.

 

The rest of the guys had shuffled into the clubhouse behind us.  They moved off, giving us some much-needed space as my father lead me to a couch over in one corner.  Two of the men sat at the bar, while some huddled around the pool table and a few leaned against a far wall to watch the match.  I eased down onto the worn leather couch as my dad sat a comfortable distance away on the other end.  He leaned back into the corner, his one arm laid across the back towards me, the other propped on the arm of the couch, his hand fiddling with his mustache.  

 

"You want a drink?"  He asked, his voice still betraying him slightly from his earlier emotions. 

 

I smiled over to him,  "A beer sounds great right about now."  

 

He smirked.  "I bet."  He turned his head towards the bar, clearing his throat.  "Sack!"  His voice now recovered completely as he barked across the room.  The scruffy haired kid that had helped me this morning at the garage, Kip if I remembered correctly, snapped his attention to us from behind the bar.  "Couple beers."  My father motioned with his hand and Kip nodded and quickly moved to the coolers.  In a matter of moments he had the tabs popped and bottles in our hands.  "Keep watch and keep 'em comin', Prospect."  Tig ordered.

 

"Sure,"  Kip gave me a small smile and nod before he headed back behind the bar.

 

We both took a few long drinks off of the beers before either of us spoke.

 

"I bet you have a lot of questions."  He said quietly, his eyes gazing solemnly at the bottle in his hands.

 

"I don't know where to even start."  I sighed lightly as I looked over to him.  His eyes met mine, an understanding expression in them.

 

"What do you remember?"  He asked as he leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees as he shifted slightly closer to me.

 

"Not a whole hell of a lot."  I ran my hand through my hair as I glanced around the clubhouse.  "But being here for the little bit that I have... some stuff is starting to come back to me."

 

He raised his eyebrows slightly.  "Yeah?"

 

I shrugged.  "Yeah.  I vaguely recognize some faces, but it's mainly the voices that are starting to bring some stuff back."

 

"I'd like to think so.  You and Jax used to tear this place up playing tag or Cops and Bikers."  He smiled fondly as the memory played in his mind.

 

"Yes!  That's it!  We used to take turns running from each other."  I laughed as the game clicked in my mind.  

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Juice stood leaning against the wall next to the church doors as he watched the pool game between Happy and Chibs.  In all honesty, he wasn't paying attention to the game at all as he kept stealing glances across the room to Tig and Summer.  Who would've thought Tig could have a daughter that looked like _that_.  She was absolutely striking... her dark hair falling down around her shoulders... and those eyes... 

 

"I need you to run her."  Clay sidled up next to Juice, crossing his arms across his chest as he leaned against the wall.

 

Juice jumped slightly, straightening his shoulders and breaking his gaze from Summer.  "Huh?"

 

Clay turned to glare at him.  "Tig's girl.  I need you to dig into her.  I know she's family, but I need to know if there's anything that's going to bite us in the ass."  He gave Juice a hard look.  "I don't like surprises."

 

Juice nodded.  "You got it."  He pushed off the wall, downing the rest of his beer and setting it on the table next to him.  He glanced back across the room as Summer's laughter lightly echoed over to him.  The melody shot straight through him like lightning and he closed his eyes briefly.   He shook his head to gather himself as he moved off toward his dorm. 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Tig's chuckle died down and his face grew solemn as he fiddled with his beer.  I felt the shift in the air and knew this was hard on both of us.  I couldn't imagine what was going through his mind after having me land back on his doorstep after sixteen years.  I upended the rest of my beer and turned to him when he spoke.

 

"I had just gotten out of jail."  His eyes stared off, focused on the label on his beer.  "Your mom and I got in a fight.  Man, we fought like cats and dogs."  He shook his head, his brow creasing as he leaned back onto the couch.  "I didn't like the fact that she was always drunk and not taking care you right while I was inside."  He glanced over to me.  I waited, letting him speak his side.  "She just took you and left."  

 

Kip strode over with fresh beers and took the empty bottles, breaking my father's thoughts for a moment.  Tig sighed and took a long gulp before continuing.

 

"I couldn't fight for custody.  I wanted to.  Believe me, baby.  I wanted nothing more than to have you with me... but with my rap sheet."  He shook his head, running a hand through his curls.  "There was no way they'd grant it."  He gazed over to me, heartbroken at the memories.

 

I held his gaze for a moment before taking a drink.  "I get it."  The look of relief that washed over his face warmed my heart.  I smirked and lightly tapped his shoulder with my fist.  "Apple didn't fall too far from the tree though."  

 

His gaze narrowed as he gave me a questioning look.

 

I shrugged.  "I did some time in juvie.  Mom was always drinking.  Usually passed out on the floor all day so I had free reign to do whatever I wanted.  I boosted some cars with a small crew I was running with when I was 14.  Me and two of the guys got caught.  The one cop got handsy with me so I clocked him."  I smiled as I brought my beer up to my lips.  

 

He chuckled, reaching out and tapping my knee.  "Little different than what I've been booked for, baby girl."  His smile fell slightly as if wondering if I was going to inquire further into his past.

 

I shrugged.  "I kinda guessed that."

 

He eyed me, holding my gaze.

 

"Dad, you're Sgt.-at-Arms of an MC."  I motioned to his patch.  "My one buddy when I was growing up, he and his older brother were in one outside of Amarillo.  I hung out with them for quite a while." 

 

His gaze hardened and I read the thought instantly.  

 

I put my hands up in defense.  "No, I wasn't a trick that they passed around.  I didn't screw any of them.  I just tended bar." 

 

He relaxed and smirked slightly as I continued.  

 

"They were mostly mules, but I know the kinda shit MC's run in behind the 'club' front.  Just because I wasn't a trick or an old lady, doesn't mean I didn't have my eyes and ears open."

 

He placed his beer down on the table in front of us and leaned back into the corner of the couch, running a hand over his goatee, a torn look on his face.  I put my hand up as he was about to speak.

 

"Hey, don't worry.  I know the rules."  I brought my beer up, tilting it towards him and smiled.  "Don't ask questions, and when the cops come sniffing, you don't know anything."

 

A smile grew across his face.  " 'At's my girl."  He reached over and ruffled my hair.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

It had been about a week since I'd landed back in Charming.  I'd contacted Ricky and told him that he might as well put me out on a leave for a while.  I filled him in on what transpired and he was beyond understanding.  He had been a foster kid growing up so if anyone could sympathize with what I was going through, it was him.  I gave him the location of the spare key for my house so he could keep watch on it until I got back.  I'd have to go back at some point.  Whether it be for good or to pack up everything and sell the house... that was yet to be determined.  It was far too fresh being reunited with my father to tell what the future would hold.

 

I'd offered to help in the garage or clubhouse while I was staying in town.  They had more than enough guys for the shop and Gemma jumped at the chance to get some assistance with the books.  Having her first grandson born prematurely to an addict mother, her time was needed elsewhere.  I gladly took some of the weight from her shoulders.

 

I sat at the desk in the garage when a female voice came from the doorway to the office, breaking my thoughts.  

 

"Hey, sweetheart."

 

I looked up from the paperwork and smiled.  "Hey, Gemma."  

 

After laying eyes on her the night I came to the clubhouse, I'd remembered her immediately.  She hadn't aged a day.  Gemma had been like an aunt to me when I was younger and all the memories had come flooding back as she hugged me that night.  I'd spent many days at her house playing with Jax as a kid while my mom was elsewhere.  Probably on a bender.

 

"I was wondering."  She stepped in and leaned a hip on the desk in front of me smiling.  "I'm planning a dinner tonight at the house.  Need to go pick up some things at the store.  You wanna come?  Catch up with your Auntie Gem?"

 

I set the pile of papers down and cocked my head up to her.  "Sure!  But what about all this?"  I said motioning my hands to the desk.

 

She wrinkled her nose.  "Eh, it can wait until tomorrow."  She smiled and waved her perfectly manicured hand dismissively at the desk.  "I'll meet ya in the car."  

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

The short car ride to the market was filled with laughter, cigarettes, and memories.  Gemma shared stories of me and Jax getting into trouble and tearing up her house.  It was surreal how easily memories came back to me while being around her.

 

Once in the store, Gemma gave me a specific list and we went our separate ways, meeting up at the front once we'd retrieved everything.

 

As she settled the bill, I gathered an armful of bags and turned to her.  "I'll go start getting these in the car."

 

"Sure, baby."  She smiled over to me as she handed the cashier her credit card.

 

I'd strode across the lot and had just popped the trunk of her Cadillac when a male voice spoke behind me.

 

"You're a new face."

 

I jumped and turned to see the source.  

 

_Sheriff._

 

"Sorry.  Didn't mean to startle you."  The man smiled.  "I'm Deputy Hale."  He held out his hand to me.

 

I placed the bags in the trunk before turning and shaking his hand.  "Summer." 

 

His eyes wandered quickly over me before he recovered and looked me in the eye, his smile disappearing into a thin line.

 

"I saw you walk in with Gemma.  Haven't seen you before so thought I'd chat for a bit."  

 

I raised my eyebrows at him.  "About what?"

 

He cleared his throat and glanced toward the entrance of the market as he placed his hands on his duty belt.  "Just a word of warning.  Pretty girls tend not to survive long with Samcro.  Most of them, Gemma especially, are out for their own interests.  I wouldn't trust them if I were you.  I'd get out before you become another casualty."

 

I pursed my lips and smirked over at him.  "Well... I appreciate the concern, _Deputy_ , but I'll be just fine.  Thanks."  I plastered an innocent smile on as Gemma pushed her cart up to us.  

 

She smiled over to him.  "Hale."

 

"Gemma."  He nodded to her before looking over to me and moving back to his truck.  "You two ladies have a good day."     

 

Gemma turned to me as we began loading the rest of the groceries into the car.  "What did he want?"

 

"Oh, you know.  Just checking out my rack and offering the 'concerned for my safety' card."  My voice dripping sarcasm as I glanced sideways at her.

 

She stood up straight, her hand up on the raised trunk lid, the other on her hip.  "Don't trust him."

 

I faced her, putting a hand to my chin, feigning contemplation.  "Funny, that's exactly what he said about you." I couldn't hold my face and snorted out a giggle.  "He has no idea who I am."

 

Gemma chuckled and ticked her tongue, draping her arm around my shoulders as we watched him pull out across the lot.  "No, he most certainly does not."  She gave me a slight shake before releasing me.  "Come on, we got cookin' to do."

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

The Morrow household was soon full of bodies.  The girls were all in the kitchen getting the final touches ready while the guys gathered around the long table.  Before long everyone was sat down and diving in.

 

I enjoyed the happy banter between them before I was brought into the mix.

 

"Oy!"  Chibs banged his palm on the table and everyone quieted, turning their attention to him.  He turned, smiling across to me.  "It's good tae have ye back, Summer."  

 

The Scotsman, who once hearing his voice and getting his signature hug a few days ago, I'd remembered was one of the men I'd been closest to growing up.  I couldn't believe that I'd all but forgotten him and his Glasgow smile. 

 

"We've all missed ye.  Even though it's been so long and ye were just a lil shite..."  He beamed at me across the table and sighed.  "It's damn good that yer back, lass.  I've never seen Tiggy happier."  He raised his glass up over the table.  

 

I turned and met my father's smile next to me, nudging him with my shoulder as I raised my glass to meet Chibs'.  "I'm glad to be back.  I've got a lot of hell raisin' to catch up on."  I caught Jax's smile and nod from down the table as he grinned and laughed.

 

"Hell yeah!"  Jax held his beer in the air. 

 

Everyone clinked their drinks and erupted in laughter and smiles as the dinner continued.

 

I gazed around at the table for a few moments.  Everyone laughing, joking and carrying on.  All the memories were coming back to me, as much as they could from so many years ago.

 

It was then that I realized that I'd finally found what I didn't even know I was searching for.  These men weren't my blood... but they were my family. 

 

They were my home.

 

And I'd be damned if I'd let them go.  

 

 

 


End file.
